Time sure does fly

It’s hard to believe that one year ago, I was getting ready to start the last semester of my undergraduate degree and take my daughter to daycare for the first time. It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago that I was sitting in the same seats as these 7th graders that I’m currently student teaching. I can remember being young without many responsibilities and now I have so many.

My daughter, my greatest gift and responsibility, used a spoon to eat her cereal this morning. With a big, beautiful grin on her face, she scooped it up, getting milk all over her, and ate each mouthful. It brought me so much joy and made me so proud.

Then I start my day of teaching because the other teacher is absent for today. I was so happy to see how cooperative my students were. How they listened and got their work done without much trouble.

They will never know how much I appreciated it or how I had trouble sleeping from the anxiety that I was feeling about today.

They’ll never know that I thought I was going to break down and cry because of another class that I had trouble with.

They’ll never know that I really do want them to succeed.

But at the end of the day, I’ll be happy about what they did accomplish and I’ll be proud of my daughter for always having that goofy grin and getting into things at home.

I live for this. For the good and the bad.

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Hold Your Head Up

“Hold your head up, there’s a light in the sky.
I know you’re fed up, but you must try to survive.
Each moment’s precious, don’t let life pass you by-
Keep focused, keep your eyes on the prize.” — Hold Your Head Up by Macklemore

As I’m trying to push through all of the stress that is weighing me down, this song plays on my Thumbprint Pandora station.

I’m really struggling to keep up with everything right now. I’m overwhelmed and sometimes I feel so down that I don’t know what to do. But I have to keep trying and working. I can see my goals in the distance. I will obtain them.

Good timing, Macklemore, as always.

It won’t get easier.

When people talk about my master’s program and being a teacher, they always say “it’ll get easier.” I don’t think they realize just how wrong they are. Nothing in life gets easier. We mostly become accustom to our challenges and learn new ways of coping with our struggles. In my short life I have walked many animals across the Rainbow Bridge. Each time has never been less difficult. The pain was always just as deep. I simply learned to conceal it or think about the situation in a different light. It never made it easier, but it helped me learn to make it through my grief.

Rest in peace, Baby. You will be missed and I will take care of Buddy until you meet again…